A Biblical Perspective on Youth

by Dr. Robert J. Burrelli Jr.

Everyone who visits a new church has his or her share of misunderstanding about how that church is run, and those who visit Grace are no exception.   In fact, I believe the common testimony of those among them who have joined is that their new experience was “culture shock”, once they learned how much alike Grace and their previous church were not—in some situations not even close.  Unlike the model church of the church growth movement with which Christians in America are most familiar, Grace has firmly in place membership, church discipline, roughly 50 minutes of expository preaching from the pulpit, biblical counseling, and a dignified and God-honoring order of worship that’s God-centered, Christ-centered, and carried out in the power of the Holy Spirit, to name but a few of our distinctives. 

         Those visitors who seriously consider Grace for their home church are pleasantly surprised at our distinctives, especially after they’ve been here awhile and have increased in their knowledge of Bible doctrine.  Indeed, once they learn the rationale behind these distinctives, now considered aberrant by most church grown experts, they find them a “welcomed relief”.   The rest aren’t so quick to understand what we do here, especially when something stereotypical of modern churches today is strangely absent at Grace.  Being good-natured as they are, they usually attribute this absence to simply a limited budget, or limited staff, or maybe even ignorance, and are quick to offer suggestions and resources to make up the lack:  “The last church I attended had a great program for this.  I’ll get you some information on it.” 

        I am thankful to all those well-intentioned believers for their concern.  They obviously care for the church as well as the target group of that particular ministry that they find wanting.  However, much of what they consider a deficiency is due neither to faulty thinking, ignorance, limited budget or staff or both, but actually quite purposeful and for good biblical reasons. 

        Consider “youth”, one aspect of our ministry, as an example of what I am talking about. The way we operate it has the same shock value as the rest of our distinctives.  More specifically, many are shocked to find the traditional methods of youth ministry so sacred to American churches missing.   They naturally conclude that we’re either short-staffed, low on funds, or out of touch with what’s taking place in cutting-edge youth ministry.  What follows from there is an attempt to catch us up, educate us, and help us to connect.  Once again, their concern is admirable, but frankly it’s not grounded in scriptural principles. 

        I firmly believe that most people in mainline American denominations have a view of youth that has been influenced by the world.  This influence is very subtle.  All cultures are different from each other, and their differences are what make them distinct.  It’s those distinctives that will infiltrate the weak church and recreate it, so that it resembles the culture with those particular distinctives. You might have heard me speak of American Christianity.  It’s a pejorative phrase.  By it, I mean the church that has been influenced by American culture.  Any church that’s influenced by the world will naturally adopt the traits and characteristics of the particular part of the world in which it exists. We might expect there to be British Christianity, Czech Christianity, Indian Christianity, and so on. 

        American culture has influenced the church in negative ways too numerous for me comprehensively to address here, but I can give you an idea.  Christianity influenced by a capitalist, free-market environment is greedy and tries to make a profit off the faith.  The faith may be a way of life to many American Christians (at least it’s supposed to be!), but it has also become a way to make a fast buck.  Here, the Christian bookstores (which can be found along side ATM machines and actual food courts in the foyers of mega churches) go too far in their retail practices, bordering on sacrilege—You’ve never heard of the Jesus action figure?  Churches influenced by capitalist mentality, then, commit Simony (charging for ministry service illegitimately, cf. Acts 8:18-23).  Churches influenced by a hedonistic, “if-it-feels-good-do-it” philosophy focus on people’s “felt needs” instead of their real needs and give what people want rather than what they need.  Churches influenced by the self-esteem culture discern God’s will by emotions; hence, the now hackneyed expression, “I have a peace about it”.  Churches influenced by a permissive society take little responsibility for their sanctification and simply coast through their faith chanting “let go and let God”.  The church influenced by the self-willed and fiercely independent culture repudiates membership, submission to godly elders, and the very essence of the gospel.  They say, “I can do it myself.  I decided that I will be saved, which church to attend, and when it’s time to move on.”  

        So what does all this have to do with youth?   The youth culture is

yet another aspect of our culture with its own language, style of dress, ideology, music, behavior, and attitude that are unmistakable, and it discriminates against adults.  In case you haven’t noticed, today’s youth don’t want to be like adults.  They see something bad in growing older and, like the rest of Americans, dread getting old.  The youth culture does not esteem the elderly for their wisdom, but considers them used up and in the way. 

This sub-culture is a powerful force that has exerted no small influence on the culture at large.  No longer under the tutelage and guidance of parents, American youth are understood, and for all practical purposes are expected, to disdain parental guidance, repudiate advice from all authority, be fiercely independent, segregate from adults to be with peers their age, and strive to be different by, ironically enough, seeking it in sameness (e.g., speech, music, and fashion).  Our society has acquiesced to the pressures of the youth culture and accommodated it, cheered on by parents who want a family without all the work that goes with it. Responsibility for teaching and raising children lies primarily, and in some cases exclusively, outside the home.

        Small wonder why most industries (cigarette, alcohol, fashion, MUSIC) find success in exploiting youth.  You don’t really believe that American Idol is about who has the best voice, do you?  It no more does than presidential elections have to do with who has the best political ideology.   

        What does the Bible say about youth?  Well, it says quite a bit. Consider its showcase of champions: Samuel, David, Jeremiah, Daniel, Mary.  These are just a few of the heroes of faith who answered their call to ministry while still youths.  Their mature and confident disposition rested on a passionate love for God and His Word and a willingness to listen to godly parents (Proverbs).  Consider also the high premium that God places on parenting in the Old Testament, emphasized by the fact that parental directives and commands occur in places where you least expect them.  The Abrahamic Covenant includes this reference to children: “to be God to you and to your offspring after you.  And I will give to you and to your offspring after you the land . . .” (Gen 17:7, 8).  The formal institution of Passover ends with this extended word to parenting:

You shall observe this rite as a statute for you and for your sons forever.  And when you come to the land that the LORD will give you, as he has promised, you shall keep this service.  And when your children say to you, “What do you mean by this service?”, you shall say, “It is the sacrifice of the LORD’s Passover, for he passed over the houses of the people of Israel in Egypt, when he struck the Egyptians but spared our houses” (Ex 12:24-27).

Israelites were to use worship services and annual festivals as teaching opportunities.  More than this, the Lord expected Israel to use the whole of life as golden opportunities for godly instruction with the family as the ultimate classroom:

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise (Deut 6:6, 7).

If the psalms contain theology for practical living, then we should expect to find teaching on youth in them as well.  We do: 

We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.  He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children (Psalm 78:4-6).

The bottom line is that parents are responsible to educate and catechize their children for the glory of God and the preparation of the next godly generation.

        The New Testament aggressively promotes the same truth.  The

mandate that we’re responsible to carry out with regard to youth is well defined in Ephesians 6:1-4, and its parallel passage Colossians 3:20-21.  In both passages, Paul’s command goes out to both children and parents within the context of local church ministry.  In other words, the command is given to parents, not to churches, but it’s to be fulfilled under the auspices of local church oversight, which obviously (and properly) involves the church in the process.  The primary task of local church leadership with regard to raising a godly generation is to work indirectly with youth by working directly with parents, giving them top priority.  If we really care for our youth, we will invest our time in helping their parents to counsel them. 

        Contrast this biblical approach with the time-honored, traditional, and sacred youth programs of the American church that we know so well and that together have sadly become the measure of an efficient and desirable local church.  This phenomenon is rather interesting, in light of several facts. The first is rather obvious, yet often ignored:  the New Testament is silent on the matter of top-notch youth ministries complete with youth pastor. The second fact is that the only two New Testament passages (Eph 6:1; Col 3:20) that speak directly to the importance of training youth put the burden of responsibility squarely on parents.  First Corinthians 7:14 is not a teaching passage on childrearing, but it speaks of godly influence upon children exerted by none other than a single, believing parent. The third fact is that children appear nowhere in the five people groups that Paul addressed in his letter to Titus.  Aside from slaves, all churches have older men, younger men, older women, and younger women, groups in the church to whom leadership need to direct their attention.  If Paul saw youth as a group in the church that needed to occupy the leadership’s attention directly, he would most certainly have brought it up here.  We are left to assume, and with good first-century cultural support to boot, that ministry to youth was left to parents.  We simply find no strong evidence for our 21st century practice of youth ministry anywhere in the New Testament or in the early centuries of the Church.

        How does the biblical approach to youth affect the way we at

Grace think of traditional youth ministries?  Generally speaking, we

believe that it is an abuse for leadership to take the time that they should devote to carrying out Scriptural mandates vital to raising a godly generation, namely, equipping parents, and spend it on generating and maintaining the traditional means of American youth ministry that find little to no support from the New Testament.

        What about youth pastors?  I don’t believe in the concept of youth pastor.  According to Titus 2, shepherds shepherd adults directly and shepherd children indirectly through their parents.  While it is possible to appoint an elder(s) to oversee the next godly generation, that responsibility would still focus attention mainly on parents and how they work with children.   

        What about youth events?  They should be sponsored, generated, and supervised by parents with support of leadership, such as our Young Men’s and Women’s Group.

        What about Jr. Church? We got rid of Jr. Church 10 years ago with no regrets.  Since parents are to raise their children in everything, including how to worship, and children learn best from watching their parents as they worship, it makes absolutely no sense at all to remove children from the worship service.  Parents must teach their children between the Sundays how to behave, be patient, sit still, and listen, and then simplify the sermon for them during the week, godly habits that characterized Christian households for centuries and have all but been lost in our modern times.  I’ll never forget those words by Don Kistler, our first GCCM speaker, on the subject of Jr. Church.  If the Puritans could train their children to behave, be patient, sit still, and listen, listen during a worship service that lasted close to three hours, then we certainly can train our children to do the same in an hour and 15 minutes.  He said that kids are kids are kids; they don’t change.  And if 21st century kids are not well behaved, and we know that they are no different from 18th century kids who were, then what has changed?  Parents, along with the culture, that’s what!  

        What about nursery?  In light of our brief study, it is in keeping with biblical principles of parenting for Grace, and any church for that matter, to provide a place for parents where they can be encouraged while they train their children to behave, be patient, sit still, and listen in preparation for time when they will regularly attend worship.  That place we call our “nursery” but, as you might expect, it is not a nursery in the strictest sense— we’re not a babysitting service.  Sadly, that is exactly what so many have come to expect, and that is exactly what so many churches without a solid knowledge of biblical parenting principles offer.  Here at Grace, we never want to give parents the impression that we offer daycare and risk leading them away from their God-given responsibility and burdening other parents who are already training their own children in the “nursery”.   For four years now our “nursery” has been a place where parents can prepare their children for worship.  And it is thrilling to me to see them enter that “transition period”, when they are introducing their “nursery grads” to the service.  I always tell parents at this stage never to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed if their children let out a scream now and again until they are settled; I can preach right through it and the membership understands.  While it’s true that we currently have a rotation of parents who take turns minding each other’s children, these parents understand their place and ours regarding child-training.  Naturally, parents new to Grace need to understand this before they would reap the full benefit from this training resource, or join the rotation, especially those who need to grown more in their understanding of biblical childrearing principles and who haven’t been in the habit of training their children to behave, be patient, sit still, and listen,.  Otherwise, they’ll be frustrated.     

        See Pastor Bob for more information about biblical parenting.  Grace has a wealth of resources, including biblical counselors devoted to working with parents to raise the next godly generation.